作词 : 周震南
作曲 : 周震南
制作人 : 大迈MizarMin@Audio-Axis
Part I:

I think I’m confused
(我很疑惑)
My deepest soul is fading and disappearing
(我最深处的灵魂逐渐消散)
Two people talking
(有两个声音)
One showed me how to love
(一个教我表达爱)
Another one told me ‘You gotta clean them’
(另一个让我毁掉一切)
That’s why people called them
(可能这就是为什么人们说)
Angel and demon
(天使与魔鬼)
Good versus evil
(善与恶)
I’m afraid to face them
(我害怕面对这些)
…I’m suffering!
(我很痛苦)
That’s what happened
(这就是我的遭遇)
Every night I have been tortured by pain
(每晚我都被痛苦折磨)
‘We should try to give people more love’
(“我们应该对他人给予给多的爱”)
‘Not my business, …’
(“与我无关就别来沾边”)

‘We don’t have any right to judge’
(“我们没有任何权利去评判别人”)
‘He’s definitely trying to make up a lie for us’
(“他肯定是在故意编造一个谎言给我们”)

‘I’m good with the quit and strove with none’
(“我要退出然后与世无争”)
‘I’ll be the greatest…’
(“我要成为最最最最伟大的那个”)

‘I don’t care the money and the fame’
(“不在乎名与利”)
‘I’m gonna buy the fancy clothes drive the fastest cars’
(“只要华衣与豪车”)

More than 700 days
(700多天的沉寂)
I’ve been taking a long rest but I feel more tired
(却让我感觉更无力)
Tryna calm but sometimes art’s come from my anger
(我试图让自己冷静下来 但艺术来源于愤怒)
I believe in …
(我很虔诚)
Always showing love but I know I’m a liar
(带着爱 却撒了谎)
Tryna control violence in my head
(试图控制心中的猛兽)
But still wanna clean that …
(但牢笼已经摇摇欲坠)

Have you ever doubted your faith?
(你有质疑过你的信仰)
And tryna raise a few questions？
(然后试图提问吗？)
God hath leaden feet, but iron hands
(人们常说善恶到头终有报)
That’s why I’m confused
(所以我很疑惑)
All I see is a lot of people their own life has been taken
(我看到的都是好多人的生命被夺走了)
I’m not a Christian but for somehow I’m praying
(我虽不是信徒 此刻却在真实地祈祷)

I’m praying
(我在祈祷)
For everybody
(为每一个)
For you
(为你)
For me
(为我)
For someone who’s pure and has loyalty
(为了那些拥有纯洁灵魂和忠诚的人)
I’m praying cuz I know it
(我在祈祷 因为我知道)
People gotta show their true love forever
(人们需要表达自己真实的爱)

Ok I’m done I feel calm
(好的 我冷静下来了)
Just wanna ask you something
(我只是想问你一些问题)
Things you’ve told me, I found it
(你告诉我的那些事情 我找到了)
But why is that all wrong？
(但为什么最后我发现它是错的)
I’m confused
(我真的很疑惑)
I wonder why the truth is gone
(我想知道为什么真相离我远去)
When I need someone to save me
(当我需要救赎的时候)
Why don’t you respond?
(你又在哪里)

Now you blame me for I’m losing soul and faith
(你现在责怪我丢失了灵魂和信仰)
Tell me what’s the price for being a human I gotta pay
(告诉我 作为一个人我需要付出怎样的代价)
I’m not done yet
(我还没结束)
I know there’s something beautiful I gotta find it
(我知道还有些美好的事物等着我去找到)
I don’t believe in destiny
(我不相信命运)
There’s only judge and punish
(只有审判和惩罚)

Part II ：

如果要杀死一个人
(If you want to kill a person)
只能选择用一种凶器
(You can only choose one murder weapon)

让他带着愧疚活着会比利刃更加锋利
(Let him live with guilt will be sharper than a sharp blade)

选择逃离将我自己封闭
(Chose to run away and close myself in)

仅存的善意正审视着我并发出抗议
(The little goodwill I have left is looking at me and protesting)

蜷缩在那沙发边的缝隙
(Curled up in that crack by couch)
等待着倒计时
(Waiting for the countdown)
等待着最后被迫放弃
(Waiting to give up)

面对这突如其来的痛击
(Facing the sudden shock)
我无法接受现实
(I can’t accept the reality of this moment)
此刻显得无比抗拒
(And I’m resisting it)
盯着破碎不堪的屏幕
(Staring at the broken screen)
投影出我做错的脸
(Projecting the face of my mistake)

深呼吸以后
(After taking a deep breath)
习惯性地闭上我没落的眼
(I habitually close my eyes)

安慰自己
(I console myself with the fact)
人性有错落的面
(That there is a wrong side to humanity)

戒不掉的懦弱
(I can’t quit the cowardice)
我一次又一次堕落地捡
(I’ve picked up over and over again)

默默地演
(Acting in silence)
演一条落魄的犬
(Like a downtrodden dog)

种种行为都幼稚得像是个未破的茧
(Acting childishly like an unbroken cocoon)
没兑现过的言
(And unfulfilled promises)

没能赶上最后一面
(I didn’t make it to the last meeting)
算来算去后悔是否来得太过多了点
(Realizing that regrets come too often)

所以 我试着去弥补这些事呢
(So, I’m trying to make up for it)
去习惯被人怒吼
(Get used to being yelled at)
去习惯被人弃舍
(Get used to being abandoned)
去习惯被人遗忘
(Get used to being forgotten)
去习惯无能为力
(Get used to not being able to do anything)

想要保护她
(Trying to protect her)
奈何我只是个可悲的戏子
(But I’m just a pathetic playwright)

是的
(Yes, I am)
我全部通通记得
(I remember everything)

曾经选择忘记的
(What I once chose to forget)
我现在选择记得
(I now choose to remember)

我现在把我自己剖开
(I’m going to cut myself open)
希望你感到赤诚而不是感到赤裸
(I want you to feel honest, not naked)

Part III:

我曾经讲出谎言
(I used to tell lies)
试图躲入那些个假话
(Trying to hide behind them)

我曾经想要得到同情
(I’ve wanted sympathy)
把多处的痛苦夸大
(To exaggerate the pain of the many)

我曾经眼睁睁的看着多数的人被打压
(I’ve watched the majority get crushed)

我曾经目睹这一切后做多数人做的哑巴
(I’ve seen it all and been the same mute as the majority)

我曾经面对珍视的事说不
(I’ve said no to things I’ve held cherish)
说无伤大雅
(Said that it wouldn’t hurt)

后来也会想方设法去拖住某一个刹那
(Then I’ve tried to hold back that single moment)

我曾经为了让她开心说出编出的大话
(I used to say big words to make her happy)
最后没能兑现她告诉我说 没事的 傻瓜
(In the end I couldn’t keep what she told me that it’s okay)

曾经逃避那些挫折
(I used to run away from my frustrations)
把错误怪罪给爸爸
(And blame my dad for the mistakes)
曾经把愤怒的情绪过度地带给了妈妈
(I used to bring my anger to my mom too much)
曾经看着她痛哭后
(I’ve watched her crying)
被错付的情绪夹杂
(And been caught up in the wrong emotions)
他们看我的眼神
(The way they looked at me)
从充满爱意到充满了害怕
(Changed from love to fear)

讲到这些犯过的错
(As I talked about the mistakes I’d made)
泪流得不止
(Tears streamed down my face)
我无法挽回这一篇篇
(I can’t undo this story)
无法回头的故事
(That I can’t go back from)
每一次叫醒自己告诫自己
(Every time I wake up and tell myself)
最后也如此
(I’ll end up doing the same)
讲出些伪善的借口
(I make some hypocritical excuses)
随后又感到很无耻
(And then I feel ashamed)

我的神啊
(God)
我无法分清我的善伪
(I can’t tell my good from my bad)
但是你能否听到我的这一句句忏悔
(But can you hear the confession of mine)
每一次失去后来的反悔
(Of every loss that I’ve suffered)
这马后炮的嘴脸现在让我感到反胃
(This face now turns my stomach)
很惭愧
(I’m ashamed)
我真心感到惭愧
(I’m truly ashamed)
躲在角落不敢面对的我像个残废
(I’m a cripple hiding in the corner, afraid to face it)
Wake up wake up wake up and fight
(醒来 醒来 醒来 重新起航)
我不想他们再次为了我悲伤而含泪
(I don’t want them to cry over me again)
编曲Music Arranger：大迈MizarMin/Tunga/陈建平
音效设计Sound Designer：大迈MizarMin
键盘手Keyboard Player：陈建平
吉他Guitarist：赵勤
钢琴手Pianist：布达佩斯交响乐团
交响乐团Symphony Orchestra：布达佩斯交响乐团
交响乐助理Orchestra Assitant：Rhett Dahl@Audio-Axis
混音师Mixing Engineer：张平@Audio-Axis
录音师Recording Engineer：大迈MizarMin @Audio-Axis 匠维音界/周震南
和声Back Vocalist：周震南
母带Mastering Engineer：张平@Audio-Axis
企划Creative Planning：皕卅廿/小虫
监制Executive Producer：辛志宇
音乐制作 Produced by: 哇唧唧哇娱乐(天津)有限公司 Wajijiwa Entertainment (Tianjin) Co., Ltd.
出品/母带版权公司 Pruduction Company/OP：哇唧唧哇娱乐(天津)有限公司 Wajijiwa Entertainment (Tianjin) Co., Ltd.

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